Tuesday, 16 September 2008 @2:20 am
I should be sleeping right now but after I had a small meal, I wasn’t sleepy. I know I had said this to myself a couple of times already that I am going to update this blog (if possible) everyday but it looks like I can’t keep up with myself. It makes me wonder though, if I can’t keep up with myself, what other things can I keep up with? School? No. I’m terrible at it. The talk-about things in Hollywood? Another definite no. I’m worst with that. I always often end up in my own world anyway. A world where nothing much matters to the people around me. Why do I care so much then? I don’t know. I guess I’m just trying to find my own purpose.
It seems like I am always in deep thought at this hour, if I am awake. Profound thinking and always trying to make sense of things. Trying to find reasons and ways on how I can make things better; things that always matter to me. Who cares if others think I’m insane or up to nothing that’s worth it? I always have my own reasons and feelings; what I like and what I don’t, what’s good for me and what’s not. It’s just that maybe I never told you before. You know I always keep things hidden. You it even matter to you?
I think that I should just update this blog now than to wait for later. This idea sounds better to me right now than the phrase “better late than never”. And now my mind is blank. I don’t know what else to say. Okay, this is what I’m doing. I am listening to Ria’s “Misteri Jam 12”. And what is on my mind? If I could wake up later and school. This just sucks.
I think I should stop now and talk to my stomach. Ask it why it has been creating problem for me. It has been bothering me much. Talking about stomach, it reminded me of the chapter I had stopped at in Breaking Dawn. My niece bought the final book for the Twilight Saga. So far, the book had been very interesting. I’m going to continue to read it every night. I mean it, every night. I’m sure I can do this better than updating my blog.
Oh, one final thing. I said I had a pending entry on my Sentosa trip. I was thinking I am just going to scrap that entry out. It had been weeks now and I still haven’t got back to finishing the draft. What you can do is go to my Friendster profile and look at the new pictures I had uploaded. You’ll know which pictures are taken at Sentosa. Haha, see what I said about keeping up with myself? I’m pretty bad at it. And I had only uploaded new pictures on my Friendster profile. I’m going to do just the same on my other networking sites. Am I THAT busy? I definitely need to work on my punctuality!
Okay, this will definitely be THE last thing. The countdown to my birthday had already hit the last ten days. I am putting a personal message on my MSN to mention about it. I wonder if any of my new friends would notice it. Or at least get the idea that my birthday is coming, if I didn’t write obvious things about it. Okay, don’t call me “craving for attention” but I’m just curious on who actually paid attention to me or have me in their minds. It wouldn’t hurt me bad if none of them cared or notices. Because I know I still have my usual darlings and sweethearts and loved ones. Haha, no, I’m not boot-licking you people into doing something for my birthday. My intentions are genuine and sincere. Because I know you all love me much. Sometimes too much that I feel like I don’t deserve your kindness and care. Like I actually feel like I do not know how to repay them. You people are awesome, I swear. So awesome and sometimes so not cool that it makes me want to kick your ass that I just don’t want to have you replaced. Definitely a great bunch of people God had planned for me to meet in my life journey. So anyway, coming back to the personal message on MSN, at least one person, a new friend, had noticed. He actually shocked me for knowing what it meant. You’re awesome, dude. I hope we can make this project work out. :)
Countdown:
9 more days!
