The only thing that is on my mind right now is the thought of jamming. Thinking about jamming always makes me happier. It is like a drug to help me through my episode of depression. Why am I thinking of jamming? Because it’s the first thing that came into my mind once today’s rehearsal finish. How I wish I could snap up a jamming session with a flick of my fingers. For some reasons, I don’t like some parts of today’s rehearsal. Tomorrow is the last day of rehearsal - 6 to 9pm. That would also mean we had to focus like fuck. I wasn’t really happy with my performance today. So we have to be in school earlier for more practice tomorrow before the final rehearsal. Once again, I’m skipping the Mandarin course. I don’t bloody care if you dare ask me. I have other bigger commitment.
I thank my brother for waking me up this morning. Though it was later than I had planned, I still manage to wake up and went for my morning walk/jog. It was pretty much stress-relieving, I guess. Planning to just walk tomorrow but we’ll see if I can get up.
Remember, my friends. Reflections Opening Show is on Monday, 3rd November 2008 at 1230pm, South Agora. Do come down for a grand and fantastic show. =)
A very good luck to everyone who wants to read today’s entry. If you find that reading my entries are like reading out of a fiction story book, then go ahead and read until the end. Good day!
I wanted to blog yesterday but I was too tired and I need to sleep or I’d be late for today’s rehearsal. And if I was late, that would mean hell. Judging from yesterday’s morning experience, if things don’t go well on time, the man wouldn’t be in a good mood. So let me tell you the story of yesterday:
Practically a lot of people were late yesterday and that literally fucked the man up. We were supposed to report at 9am sharp but things didn’t go as planned. He was so pissed, I’m telling you, because of what-he-said our unprofessionalism. If I was the only person there and he attacked me like that, I would be so deeply wounded inside. But because there were a large group of us, the emotions were shared so it wasn’t so bad. He was a scary man but like what I told Esna before, anything to do with him is for the best. One thing to be so grateful is that he isn’t in charge of the musicians. We musicians got a kinder director. And that makes learning much easier.
We somehow manage to finish the first half of the music yesterday and got it recorded as well. After the rehearsal ended, we knew we had a lot to practice on and I knew for sure, I had to skip my Mandarin course. Seriously, I don’t mind skipping the class now. To be honest, I lost hope in it. I knew I am not going to be selected for the China trip. Don’t ask me why but I feel more willing to go for the rehearsal than to the Mandarin course. I guess music is more of my passion than having to learn something out of a textbook and things that are classroom-related. Anyway, IG practice ended at 6pm and I had to meet Esli after that because I had to pass her my dress. Before that, rushed off to AMK Hub to get something. So I met her at 7pm, passed her my dress and we ended up talking until 11pm.
While I was walking, got a text message from Herman, my band mate from another band asking if I was coming online. For goodness sake, I totally forgot about our band meeting to discuss on some stuff. I had been in school the whole day, tired as hell that all I wanted to do when I got home is to sleep. Did I mention I didn’t get a good sleep the night before? Well, I got too much to mention but I’m not going to say everything. I only had one meal yesterday at lunch. When I got home, there wasn’t anything nice to eat. I know that when people are really hungry, they could eat almost anything but my tongue just refuse to taste the same old thing so I ate one banana before I went to bed.
What happened today:
I was supposed to be in school by 730am just to make sure that we would not be late for the rehearsal and at the same time, we could have breakfast. But I only reached at 8am and they were already practicing so I do not want to miss it so I practice with them. Mind you, I was so tired and sleepy. I didn’t have time to have breakfast but only ate another banana before I leave house. My only concern is if I would faint. Of course not, I am that strong.
Rehearsal was intense today and we really had to focus to finish the second half of the song. Did another recording and I’m sure it’s at least a little bit better than yesterday’s. Today also felt like we shifted house because we had to carry our instruments twice. From the IG room to the Conference room for the musician rehearsal, then to the studio for combined rehearsal.
After rehearsal, had my first meal of the day at lunch. Then we continue with practice until 5pm. We only have two more days of rehearsal before the opening show Monday. Remember people, it’s at noon so do come down to watch the opening show. I’m glad that tomorrow’s rehearsal is at evening. Although I would still have to come earlier, it means that I don’t have to wake up early in the morning and rush.
Hmm… my vacation of only one week but it doesn’t really feel like a vacation because I still had to come back to school. For the past two days, I had stayed in school like any other school day. Well, like I had said in my previous entry, as long as there are no problem statements waiting for me, I’m alright. I like being busy because that would mean time flies faster. However, being busy would also mean that you would be taken away from having the privilege of doing something. For example, I wasn’t able to wake up late and be online or watch television the whole day at home. I can't slack and chill! This also means that I cannot attend Fir’s birthday party this Friday. My biggest apologies to Ryna and Fir. I wanted to be there but because of this tight schedule, I can’t make it. I’ve already told Fir and if I can make it, I will rush down.
Lastly, I mean what I say when I said that I am more willing to attend rehearsals at the moment. In fact, I wish I don’t have to go to class everyday and instead, do more and be a part of events stuffs that have something to do with music. Trust me, I know things could get a toll on me but I won’t complain. Maybe I’d whine but that’s a different story. If I like what I’m doing, I won’t complain. What is busy to me when I know there are other people who are way busier than me?
And I’m positive that I had written down at least 80% of everything I wanted to mention in today’s entry. Why not 100%? It’s because I cannot mention everything and I think there will be some things that are very minor and I just don’t remember to include them in.
Goodnight, everybody. =)
Today marks the day that I turn 20 years and 1 month old. It was also the day that Kiara was adopted from a home. And together, within this one month, we had grown. Together, we learn new things about one another. It’s a big new commitment for me. At times, I just can’t wait to see how big she’ll grow and what she’ll be like. But it’s a long way to go and I just have to be patient. Because if I rush things, I’m rushing myself too. I don’t want things to come falling on me all at once.
Did I mention I’m having a one week vacation right now? I’m very positive it wouldn’t be much of a good vacation because it wouldn’t be enough since I still have to come back to school. Just as long as there is no PBL involved, I’d be happy. Time for me to relax and rest my brain.
Jamming with the boys tomorrow. We haven’t jam for weeks because of respective reasons. Now the time is here for us to have fun again. Take whatever’s on our mind off and let it flow in our creative juices. Hmm… does it even make sense at all?
I was told today that tomorrow will be her last day at work. I don’t know what to expect. Should I be happy for her or should I feel sorry for her? At least she still has 19 more days of leave and then she is officially not related to her workplace. A very good luck to me because now, when I come home, things will not stay the same as much as I would like it to stay that way.
Esli and Esna accompanied me to watch Braxen Banks perform at Ben & Jerry’s at The Cathay on Monday. Ad was pretty up there. I am always so proud of her. I wish I could hear her sing more back-ups because she has such a lovely voice. Lovelier than mine, I swear. But overall, the performance was good. There’s an improvement from the first time I saw them jam. Good job, yay!
Guess what? Twilight trailer will be out on the big screen this Friday, along with the opening of High School Musical 3: Senior Year! Okay, I am not at all excited about HSM 3 but TWILIGHT!! I think I’m going to watch any movie just to catch the trailer on the big screen. Can anyone ask me out, please? Take me out on a movie date or something? Maybe if you ask me, I won’t ditch you after the movie. Please? Please? Any hot guys? YES, damn it! I am desperate to catch the trailer. To catch the oh-so-perfect Cullen family members and Bella with Edward and just everybody else in the movie! Not forgetting the scenery too. ASK ME OUT!!
Oh dear… wait until the movie officially comes out on December 18th. I think I’d go mad. Totally desperate to watch it with anyone. Anyone that would be willing… or I might just force you to watch. I’d make you.
Edward: And so the lion fell in love with the lamb.
Bella: What a stupid lamb.
Edward: What a sick, masochistic lion.
Sweet!
Edward and Bella make me want to fall in love with a vampire. Turn me into one. That’s my wish.
I just came back from a family Hari Raya gathering for my father’s side. Despite my hatred of crowd, the whole thing wasn’t that bad. I heard this gathering consist of relatives from all seven generations. And because that there are so many people that you do not know who you are related to, I just met someone whom I did not know that we were related. The best part is, we were classmates from the previous semester. All I can say is, I am a true believer in the phrase “things happen for a reason”. Lots and lots of things happen and I can always decide on doing the alternatives but maybe God created me this way to be the person that I am. I cannot imagine if I had chosen the alternative choice, maybe things would have become awkward upon meeting her today. Now I should always believe in myself to do the right things. You will never know what comes next.
we're related, bitch!
Okay, that’s all about today. Now, the next thing I am going to say, had been in my mind since last week. It might also sound a little harsh but I just need to say what is in my chest. Thinking about this thing had made me cry myself to sleep last week. It also got me thinking about my future too. All I could hope for is that everything is going to be okay and my life will be all right.
So, I wonder, why must there always be the presence of an office bitch. If it’s not the slut that sleeps with the boss, it’s the motherfucker that wants to rule everyone. Why do these people have to make people’s life miserable? Aren’t we on the same page of wanting to earn money? Why do they have to be so selfish and not care about people’s feelings? Are they already living a sad life that they just need to put their anger to other people? Now I see why their car tires get flattened and the windows get smashed. They don’t fucking deserve any sympathy from me. They should die and go to hell. Screaming at people, hurling hurtful words and using rough methods is definitely not the way, bitches. Office politic sucks. It’s truly a sad thing they exist.
I understand now that one of the worst things in the world is to see your loved ones getting hurt. I may not see it happen but knowing it did happen really aches me. I could feel the blow in my heart thinking about it. One more week and she won’t be going back to work anymore. One of my dreams to fetch her after work will not be fulfilled. I thought this will not happen until I finish my poly studies or something but this is a sudden thing for me. I don’t really know how to react now. I know some things are going to change. I’ll definitely have to watch my spending. But if I believe and trust God, He will bring me to the right path and help me through my life. My future right now is a little bleak because I cannot picture myself yet. Insha’Allah, life will go on as normal and we will not have any major problems.
Angry part aside, a solemn side in. A relative just passed away today. She had been suffering for months now and today, God took her with Him to release her from the pain. Everybody knew this thing is coming, as she herself knew her time is coming. I knew this is coming too months ago, without a doubt, because I had that dream for the second time this year. My classmates from the first semester might remember the little conversation I had with them about the dream. And my MSN personal message at that time was, “had that dream again, whose dying next?”
Once again, it came true. As well as my question had been answered.
Okay, that’s all about today. Now, the next thing I am going to say, had been in my mind since last week. It might also sound a little harsh but I just need to say what is in my chest. Thinking about this thing had made me cry myself to sleep last week. It also got me thinking about my future too. All I could hope for is that everything is going to be okay and my life will be all right.
So, I wonder, why must there always be the presence of an office bitch. If it’s not the slut that sleeps with the boss, it’s the motherfucker that wants to rule everyone. Why do these people have to make people’s life miserable? Aren’t we on the same page of wanting to earn money? Why do they have to be so selfish and not care about people’s feelings? Are they already living a sad life that they just need to put their anger to other people? Now I see why their car tires get flattened and the windows get smashed. They don’t fucking deserve any sympathy from me. They should die and go to hell. Screaming at people, hurling hurtful words and using rough methods is definitely not the way, bitches. Office politic sucks. It’s truly a sad thing they exist.
I understand now that one of the worst things in the world is to see your loved ones getting hurt. I may not see it happen but knowing it did happen really aches me. I could feel the blow in my heart thinking about it. One more week and she won’t be going back to work anymore. One of my dreams to fetch her after work will not be fulfilled. I thought this will not happen until I finish my poly studies or something but this is a sudden thing for me. I don’t really know how to react now. I know some things are going to change. I’ll definitely have to watch my spending. But if I believe and trust God, He will bring me to the right path and help me through my life. My future right now is a little bleak because I cannot picture myself yet. Insha’Allah, life will go on as normal and we will not have any major problems.
Angry part aside, a solemn side in. A relative just passed away today. She had been suffering for months now and today, God took her with Him to release her from the pain. Everybody knew this thing is coming, as she herself knew her time is coming. I knew this is coming too months ago, without a doubt, because I had that dream for the second time this year. My classmates from the first semester might remember the little conversation I had with them about the dream. And my MSN personal message at that time was, “had that dream again, whose dying next?”
Once again, it came true. As well as my question had been answered.
I find that today is a pretty good start for the week, especially to my mini resolution. I told myself that I do not want to walk into class after 11am ever again. So today, I stepped into class at 930am. I know, I was still late but it was quite a big improvement. My facilitator was happy to see me in class earlier than usual. I hope that I won’t be late for my UT tomorrow. I better wake up on time! And not dilly-dally. Kiara is my biggest distraction at the time being. She’s all good though, I don’t blame her.
Wish me luck for tomorrow! I just feel like having the luck. I just want to feel good.
Nothing much to talk about today except for the fact that I’d be dead tired every time I reached home after school. Mondays are a long day for me because I have IG training after school. They told me to expect lots of performances coming up and looking at the calendar, oh dear, there’s not much time left.
Also, I hate the idea of disappointing people who are really nice. Because it’ll feel like I’m taking advantage of them. It just doesn’t feel right. Okay, just wanted to mention that.
Good night for now everybody. Sleep well and sweet dreams!
I would just like to say that I am feeling lazy to go to school. Hell, two more weeks to go and I’ll be away from school for a week. Come on, Fatin! You can do it! Don’t ignore the fact that there are some things that you do love to see happening in school like your IG, your friends and the androgyny girls. Yes, they’re very interesting and they should have sparked up your interest by now.
After last night’s incident, I am not going to care about what people think about my work. If I know I had done my best, I’m just going to be proud of it. It wouldn’t matter to me if you think it’s just a tiny work and it shan’t be appreciated. To hell with what you think and believe. It’s going to be about me now. I am going to ignore what you say to me. My hard work; my business. You don’t know, you don’t see - your problem. I don’t care about your opinion.
Anyway, I was supposed to be out with my family to continue with visiting of relatives. Unfortunately, I have some sort of diarrhea and I preferred to stay home. I am also sick with a cold. Sorry people, expect me to be complaining about my blocked nose and how I cannot hear you properly.
Guess what? I cooked again today! Last night, I cooked macaroni mixed with Campbell soup and today, with the leftover macaronis, I used them to fry with eggs and some other spices. Today’s meal was pretty much tasteless but with the help of white pepper, there is some taste and spiciness. Yummy!
Come back again later! See ya!
Today felt like Sunday and I am feeling so bored now. The whole family is out except for my brother, nephew and niece and I. I’m at home because I had to keep an eye on the house. The first few hours after I got up were busy because I had to do some chores. It was tiring. Usually my aunt would help to clean the cats’ mess but since they’re not home, I had to do the work. Then I helped to reheat the food so my nephew could eat. Last chore was to take out the laundry. After feeding and playing with Kiara, I went online.
I am so used to living with a lot of people in my house that sometimes, I just wanted my own privacy and peace. However, once I got it, I felt totally bored. Sometimes it felt nice though to get rid of the noise. I shall not complain because once in awhile, I am really appreciative of such opportunities to be alone in my own home. I know it sounded pathetic but trust me, I don’t really have my own personal space in my house.
Jamming was cancelled last night due to unforeseen circumstances. No worries darlings, there is always next time. Everything happens for a reason. We just have to constantly be patient. What’s important is that we know we all love each other, lol!
Met Kaye for dinner instead at Toa Payoh. With her around, I was able to be myself. I was taking out my boredom on her, literally. I was irritating her much by laughing and doing silly things on her. Don’t blame me, she was playing with my shawl. The thing is, I was totally quiet in school today because I was tired. I didn’t talk much. I think with Kaye around, she helped to refuel my energy. I just felt like my energy had been draining. By the end of the day, I was tired and I was looking like a zombie. I wasn’t the usual bubbly me any longer these days. I wonder if I am hanging out with some psychic vampire that’s constantly been sucking on my energy. Or maybe I should be a vampire myself and suck on people’s energy, instead of blood, since my problem nowadays is more on energy. Oh dear, oh dear.
Once again, I think I’m having a cold. My throat feels funny and I can feel the heat in my nose. Maybe I should get antibiotics. I had just recovered from having a cold like one month ago and now it came back. My next few days are not going to be good. Good luck to me and my friends, for they will have to put up with my sick behaviour.
Esna, the celebrity wannabe.
Kaye looks like an American robber.
and we did this in the bus.
Had dinner with Mark, Fyzzah and Namirah at Causeway Point. After dinner, something happened at the first level of the mall. I saw this person looking at something, and when he turns, I thought he was trying to get a closer look at what he was looking at until he actually fell to the ground then I turned to look at him. That man… was having fits. And there I was with my friends, just standing there. We don’t know how to get into action. We were dumbstruck, I guess. And then I wonder, what was the point of having that CPR cert? The security men of the mall were quick to his help anyway. And people were crowding. It was a scene.
It all happened in front of me. I’ve heard a lot of stories of people getting fits but I had never seen one happening in front of me. I was pretty shaken by the incident. It was rather scary. I wonder what else I will encounter for the rest of my life. Life is fragile. Anything can happen. A wrong simple move, or a delay in an action, can cause something more devastating. That is why, people should live their life like there is no tomorrow. And that does not mean you should party!
And to think about the cert again, I do realise that it had expired.
Mark told me that RP used to be a forest where monkeys used to inhabit. This means, we destroyed the monkeys’ natural habitat when we built RP. And for once, I felt guilty. Imagine destroying a part of Bukit Timah Nature Reserve to build some institute. Oh my god, it is totally not cool.
And lastly, we’ve found a new place to explore. I hope it could be a getaway from stress. A secret hide-out. A mini Pulau Ubin. We’re going back there.
First and foremost, I would like to say that I have a lot of things to update on. From breaking fast with my ex-classmates at Geylang, to breaking fast and doing random stuffs with the new-found Some-Up Crew (as named by Mark), to my birthday surprise with Mark and Nana. Since I am lazy to write a long winded story of them, I am going to let the pictures do the talking. Fair enough?
Breaking fast at Geylang:
waiting to officially break fast.
food yummy food.
pictures with our food!
off we go to walk around.
3 different expressions.
the great bunch of peeps.
Mark (the giant), Nana, Hayat, Didi & Huda.
and we'll always cherish one another.
on our way to sit somewhere.
we sat, we talked, we chilled.
With Some-Up Crew:
group photo!
don't we rock?!
always up to something.
turned on yet?
Birthday Surprise!
Kiara.
with my cake.
with baby Kiara.
Kiara with Uncle Mark and Aunt Nana.
Kiara is home! eating and drinking milk.
sleepy Kiara.
There you go! Pictures had done their talking. And they said pictures tell a thousand words.
What’s new is that I had a new kitten; an all black kitten. Something that I had always wanted. There are no other people that would have surprised me with it other than my only dearest friends. I know that had gone through so many things trying to find the perfect kitten for me.
Mark: Thank you for granting my wish and not giving up. Your perseverance had brought joy to me. Kiara is loved.
Esna: I know about the scorching heat, getting lost and being terrified but thank you for holding on. This wouldn’t have happened without you too!
Nana: I’m sorry that this had taken up a lot of your time and energy but Kiara is totally worth the trouble. I’m very touched. Love you Nana!
Andy: My good friend’s boyfriend, you are such a great helper. I know that Kiara had taken up your night’s rest because you had to keep and eye on her. But if you weren’t in the picture with your amazing role, Kiara wouldn’t have been in my arms now. Again, so sorry for the trouble but thank you so much! I couldn’t thank you more, I swear.
Guys, I couldn’t imagine the trouble you had to go through but I know it existed. I am just glad that Kiara is safe and sound when it’s passed to me. A great gift, that’s all I can say. Kiara is amazing and it’s absolutely loved by my family. She is such an adorable and smart creature!
Finally, Ramadhan is over. Fellas, if you need to let go of the demon in you, now’s the time. The Holy month is over. Okay, I have to admit, this isn’t such a great way to celebrate Syawal.
To all my friends, I would like to take this opportunity to put my five cute fingers together and ask for forgiveness. I know I had done a lot of things, be it nice or bad, intentionally or unintentionally. But forgive me for all the mistakes I had done. Upsets, anger, disappointments and unhappiness, let it all be washed away. Let bygones be bygones.
Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir & Batin.
What’s new is that I had a new kitten; an all black kitten. Something that I had always wanted. There are no other people that would have surprised me with it other than my only dearest friends. I know that had gone through so many things trying to find the perfect kitten for me.
Mark: Thank you for granting my wish and not giving up. Your perseverance had brought joy to me. Kiara is loved.
Esna: I know about the scorching heat, getting lost and being terrified but thank you for holding on. This wouldn’t have happened without you too!
Nana: I’m sorry that this had taken up a lot of your time and energy but Kiara is totally worth the trouble. I’m very touched. Love you Nana!
Andy: My good friend’s boyfriend, you are such a great helper. I know that Kiara had taken up your night’s rest because you had to keep and eye on her. But if you weren’t in the picture with your amazing role, Kiara wouldn’t have been in my arms now. Again, so sorry for the trouble but thank you so much! I couldn’t thank you more, I swear.
Guys, I couldn’t imagine the trouble you had to go through but I know it existed. I am just glad that Kiara is safe and sound when it’s passed to me. A great gift, that’s all I can say. Kiara is amazing and it’s absolutely loved by my family. She is such an adorable and smart creature!
Finally, Ramadhan is over. Fellas, if you need to let go of the demon in you, now’s the time. The Holy month is over. Okay, I have to admit, this isn’t such a great way to celebrate Syawal.
To all my friends, I would like to take this opportunity to put my five cute fingers together and ask for forgiveness. I know I had done a lot of things, be it nice or bad, intentionally or unintentionally. But forgive me for all the mistakes I had done. Upsets, anger, disappointments and unhappiness, let it all be washed away. Let bygones be bygones.
Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir & Batin.
Today, we also celebrate Childrens’ Day!
Also, Happy Birthday Faree the Fairy! You never seem to grow old.
Also, Happy Birthday Faree the Fairy! You never seem to grow old.
